A Day of Reflection

Easter Sunday, Dave and I skyped with some of our family gathered in Colorado. Everyone was around Amy and Tony’s dining room table. It was a little hard to hear everyone, and the picture was pretty blurry, but I was delighted that there is technology available that will allow us to stay in touch the way we do.

My mom asked me one question, “Do you like it there?” It’s funny….I just didn’t know what to say. And frankly, I’m still not sure if I know how to answer the question. I know I don’t hate it, and I know I don’t love it….but I’m not sure if I like it. The cultural experts all call the first four months of an overseas assignment, “the honeymoon period.” Things are new, exciting, and you are learning lots of new things, both at work and at home. Typically, after the first four months and a nice R&R leave, there is a big downward dip in feelings and emotions. I’m just dreading that period, but hoping that by recognizing it, will be able to keep it at bay.

As of yesterday, Dave and I have been in Ghana for one full month. As I woke up this morning, I decided to reflect on our experiences in the last 30 days.

Prior to our move to Ghana, one of the expat spouses told me, “your house is your sanctuary. It is the place you go to remove yourself from the foreign culture all around you. So, make sure you bring the things that give you comfort.” As much as I tried to take her advice to heart, now that I am in Ghana, I can more fully appreciate her guidance.

With that in mind, I’m trying to remember all of what I put in our sea container! I began putting things in piles back in February, and it was packed into a truck the first week of March. I know that I left some very critical things behind, just not thinking it would be necessary, or that I could find it in Accra. If I had any piece of advice to give to someone new coming in, I would say….don’t listen to your husband, listen to the expat spouses! They are a wealth of knowledge. Sorry honey, but I don’t know how many times I would say, “Do you think I should take X, Y, or Z?” And you would say, “I’m sure you can get it over there.” It doesn’t matter if you think you can get it over here. If there is any doubt, take it with you! Chances are that: 1) you can’t find it; 2) it will be lower quality; 3) if it’s food, it will taste differently; 4) it will be three times as expensive; and 5) you won’t have many choices.

Making our home a home. Our sea container was scheduled to arrive in port on April 23rd, but we have not heard a word about it. We haven’t been too aggressive in finding out more, as we won’t be able to begin the process for accessing it until after we return from the states at the end of May. Once the sea container arrives in port, we have to send Dave’s passport to customs, and they could have it for a number of weeks. Since he’s flying to Denver on May 19th, he can’t risk not getting his passport back in time. In addition, if you will recall in one of my earlier blogs, Dave’s Visa had expired and so he has a temporary 30 day Visa right now. When we get to Denver in a couple of weeks, the ball will get rolling and he’s expected to get a 5-year Visa prior to returning to Accra. In the meantime, the sea container is on hold until Dave returns to Ghana on May 29th. Hopefully, by the time I fly back in mid-June the sea container will have arrived, and all customs issues resolved (I’m not holding my breath, though). Our townhouse is so not our “home” yet, and I hope that when we get our own things, that will change. At this point, the only things that are ours, are our clothes and a beautiful quilt. I want to change our drapes, often see things I’d like to buy for the walls, but I’m just holding off. I want to get OUR things into the house and settled, and then work around those colors and items. June will be a fun house decorating month! Hang onto your wallet, Dave!

In the minority. Being a minority is new for us. While there are white people in Ghana, we are far outnumbered. With that being said, I rarely feel uncomfortable or out of place. In most of the grocery stores, the majority of the customers are Caucasian, while the clerks, butchers, and workers are black. At the mall, they are primarily black. In the city, I don’t really notice people staring at me, but when we leave the city and move into the village areas….now that’s when we get the stares. Like I said in my “funeral” blog, I just think they are curious as they don’t often see white people. I have in no way faced “reverse discrimination.”

Lack of Independence. I really get frustrated with not being able to drive myself around. Dave has been out of town all week, and so I’ve been alone (and frankly, a little lonely). Fortunately, work, Skype, exercise, a friend, and social networking sites have kept me busy and entertained. But, Tuesday I really wanted to go to the gym and the store to buy my milk, as it only lasts for a day or two on the shelf. Michael was driving back from the mine site, and I know I could have called the driver pool, but I just wasn’t in the mood for the hassle, so I just stayed home. I figured I would just go for a swim; but alas, when I got to the pool it was closed for cleaning. Yesterday, after Michael took me to the gym I had him stop by the store to get the milk….it was gone. So, no yummy American tasting milk for me this week. Not having the freedom to just jump in your car and go is difficult for me. The car is sitting right there in the driveway! I have the keys! I have an American driver’s license! Anyway, that’s one of the biggest frustrations for me – the lack of independence. I suspect Dave's biggest frustrations are work-related, but he'll have to write up his own blog entry!

Traffic. And then there’s the traffic. It’s insane, which is why I almost always put my Kindle into my purse when I leave for the store. It helps pass the time. I don’t think it’s any worse (in its own, distinct, crazy driver sort of way) than a big city in the U.S., but hey….I’m from small town Elko, NV and Douglas, WY where there are no such things as traffic jams. So, as I reflect, I come to the conclusion that the traffic would be an issue no matter to which large city I moved, and so it’s not necessarily a feeling exclusive to Accra.

Preparing meals. As most of you know, I hit the jackpot when I married Dave. I have not been the cook in our house. Very early on in our marriage, Dave made it perfectly clear that he liked to “eat what he cooks.” He didn’t have to say it twice, and I quickly handed over the cooking duties. Those roles have reversed in Accra, and I’m now not only responsible for cooking the meals, but for the planning of them as well. Actually, I’m not finding the actual cooking so difficult, but rather the planning and shopping. I LOVE the allrecipes.com website, as it’s been a lifesaver. However, cooking in Ghana is not as easy as you might think. The fruits and veggies must be eaten rather quickly, as they don’t age well. Not all of the items in the recipe are likely to be at the grocery store at the same time, and less likely to be in my cupboard. I have been slowly adding dry goods to those cupboards in the hopes that at some point I will have more options! Dave has been very gracious and complimentary and I think he’s secretly enjoying walking in and not having to make dinner.

Exercise. I like to exercise, and I worried a lot about what I would be able to find to do in Ghana. No worries here! I have lots of choices beginning with Pippas Fitness, which actually has three locations in our area. One is very close to our house, but I have only gone to the larger one located close to Dave’s office. Check out the website: pippasfitness.com/. It really looks like this! It’s very clean, well taken care of, and by the time I get there in the morning, there is hardly anybody in the gym with me. I have also taken Zumba and Tae Bo classes at this particular gym. We have a swimming pool at our complex, which nobody seems to use. I was able to find a couple pairs of goggles at the store, and Dave and I have been swimming on the weekends. Last week another expat spouse invited Michele and I to “African Dance.” It was held at the Orchids Garden complex just around the corner from us, on a covered porch. For one hour, two men – Bismarck and Kofi – taught us an African Dance. It was the BEST cardio workout, and sweat was pouring off of me. Primarily Kofi played the drums, and Bismarck showed us the moves. It was a great workout, and I plan on going back tomorrow. And today….I did an hour of yoga – at the same complex. I can already tell that I’m going to be a little sore tomorrow. When I get to the end of the four month honeymoon period, I know that the exercising options will serve me well, and hopefully keep me sane and positive!

Friends. Wow! Moving to a foreign country is not easy, but the one thing that can make it easier is to find friends. This one has been huge for me. As you read through my blogs, you will see me refer to Michele often. Michele is a veteran expat spouse, and she navigates well through this foreign culture. I’ve just grabbed onto her shirt, and gone along for the ride! She was the first person I heard from when I moved to Ghana, as she had written me a note to be delivered to us when we arrived. She invited us to pizza on our first night, picked us up, and even brought us some food to get us started. Michele and her husband, Dave, have welcomed us into their home and quickly taught us (or at least me) how to play Texas Hold ‘Em! Michele has taken me all over the city to the various grocery stores, fruit and vegetable stands, pottery, the Art Alliance, the orphanage, the NAWA (North American Women’s Association), African Dance, and Yoga. Without her….I know the last four weeks would have been much more difficult, and quite lonely!

I also consider Julie and Otto our new friends. They not only have invited us into their home, cooking us YUMMY meat from South Africa, taking our money in Texas Hold ‘Em, and serving us many a cocktail, but they are also just genuinely nice people. I don’t know what Otto’s official title is, but he is basically the head of Newmont security for the African operations, and it is very comforting to know he is just two doors down, and always surveying a situation in terms of safety. Julie is the ultimate extrovert, and could probably convince Puxatawney Phil to come out of his hole in the middle of a blizzard in January! Her laugh is contagious, and her smile says it all.

In putting my reflections into words, I see that there are both positives and negatives, but I would have to say that the positives outweigh the negatives. The month has given me pause, and allowed me to think about the little things we ALL take for granted: drinking out of the faucet, finding what you need in one location, TV, running to Taco Bell when you don’t feel like cooking, sitting outside in the evenings, going for a walk, seeing the stars, a comfy pillow, and my family.

But, at the end of the day, all one needs to do is visit the Royal Seed School outside of Kasau to get a little perspective. This is an orphanage where approximately 120 children live day in and day out. They subsist on the most minimal of food, compared to our standards. While they are well taken care of, it is obvious that they miss out on the day to day physical contact of a parent with their child, as the younger children cling to the adults – no matter who they are! The orphanage is a whole other blog, and one that will take a little bit of time to write. I got some wonderful pictures today, and hopefully they will help me tell their story.

But, until then….yes mom, I think I do like it here. Thanks for asking!